The Magnificent Seven — Mission Impossible

Seven skunks captured in Kildare may be more than they seem. With Donald Trump due in Ireland, these unlikely visitors claim asylum, dodge questions and reveal a mysterious mission to Doonbeg. A playful political satire involving Snow White, Spotify and a rather pungent welcome.

Recently, seven skunks were captured in Kildare  — and Donald Trump is coming to Ireland next week. Was this an Irish welcoming committee?

When interviewed, they only gave their names: Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey.

Grumpy Skunk says there will be a terrible stink  when Orangeman arrives. Dopey is looking forward to some good company.

It seems the seven are illegal aliens. On behalf of the seven, Doc claimed regularisation of their immigration status. Sleepy slept through initial interviews and subsequent court appearance. Sneezy was detained at a police station in Carlow and kept in isolation.

Bashful seemed to let the cat out of the bag when he informed an undercover official that the seven are the security advance party. Their task was to make their way to Doonbeg and blend in.

Happy Skunk took the Fifth Amendment, all the while listening to “The Magnificent Seven” on Spotify.

Shorty afterwards an official spokesperson was unconcerned. “They’ve clearly not kissed the Blarney Stone yet,” he said. “Give them time. Once they have the gift of the gab, we’ll know everything.”